Sophia’s Survival Guide – Valentine’s Day Edition

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The Rules for Being a Single Person on Valentine’s Day

  • Avoid direct eye contact with couples. They will lure you into the depressing lane of wishing you had someone to eat chocolates with. Just don’t do it.
  • Buy some candy, it’s Valentine’s day. It’s the day no rules apply and where candy is always a given, especially chocolate. Buy your own, then you know you’ll get something you like.
  • 2 people aren’t always better than 1 person. There’s no need for a special someone. Roses are $3.  Buy yourself one and act surprised in class when it arrives. (Everybody will be jealous;).
  • Your friends have been there since the beginning, so celebrate them by giving a Valentine’s Day card saying “Be My Valentine Friend.” Hug them since everybody else is doing it.
  • Avoid the locker bay since that’s where all the couples hang. You might see some cheesy PDA.
  • Don’t date someone near Valentine’s Day. It’s just too much pressure. Instead, stay single with zero stress.
  • Hang onto some tissues in case there’s a really cute moment in school which makes you cry wishing you had somebody.
  • Avoid the commons and the direct staircases. There will just be too much noise (not that there already isn’t). Wear some earplugs just in case we get to concert-level screaming.
  • Wear some sunglasses since it will be very bright. After all, the color of love is red……..and pink.

*Sweethearts is at PLHS on February 10 at 8:00.