PLHS Senior proud to be the Parking Lot Rascal 

Jack Krause, Contributor

Jake Garfield is a senior at PLHS. Like many students, he has activities going on after school and doesn’t enjoy spending time in the school parking lot waiting. He isn’t afraid of cutting people off and driving aggressively to get out when he wants.

The way Garfield drives and brags about his actions cause many students to see him as a bully, but in reality he just needs to get to places on time. Why does he cut people off? He replied with, “I do it because I truly want to get home, because I need to get to work or practice depending on the season.”

Any student at Prior Lake High School knows that the back of the parking lot after school can be a stressful and dangerous place. Long lines, teens not paying attention, and lack of authority result in a free-for-all where everyone attempts to merge into one lane at the same time.

Most students don’t enjoy spending a ton of time in the parking lot after school for various reasons, such as jobs and extra-curricular activities. Garfield not only has to be at work by 4:00, but he has to drive four other people home too.

Experienced students know various moves and tactics to get in front of people and cut people off. Some care more about their vehicles and are more cautious when leaving. Some students go to extreme measures to cut others off.

Deciding who gets out first is a matter of who can move their car to the front of the line in the fastest way. Cutting people off, driving over curbs and medians, moving around people when they aren’t looking, or driving in the wrong lane is all fair game when it comes to the PLHS student parking lot.

Garfield claims that he is at the top of the pack when it comes to cutting others off. He has learned the ropes of the parking lot and doesn’t let anyone stand in his way of getting where he needs to be.

Many different moves and tactics can be utilized, and Jake Garfield knows just about every single one. One example, he said, “Now that it’s winter people stay away from the snowy curb, so you can push them towards the outside and they have no choice but to let you in.”

For Garfield, cutting people off has almost become a hobby. Quick maneuvers and sharp steering is a skill that he utilizes every day in order to claim his dominance. He said, “I cut off anyone I can, there’s really no particular person that I try to cut off… If I see someone I can cut off then I will.”

Some students drive extra carefully in order to not scratch their new BMWs or Audis… Jake Garfield doesn’t worry too much about that. He rides along with four of his friends in an extended cab Ford Ranger, with what he likes to call “The ugly topper” (An old black pick-up bed topper that doesn’t match the vehicle color).

If he ever worries about his vehicle, he said, “The things got enough dents in it already.” Garfield laughed at the question and said, “I’ve learned every bit and piece of my car so that when I start getting close with my car I just know exactly how far I am from the other cars.”

Another PLHS senior commented about the back of the parking lot after school. Ben Holten, who drives a red Jeep, and claims that he is very experienced with cutting others off, said, “The parking lot is good, but some of our fellow students are bad drivers and drive on the wrong side of the road.”

Garfield is a parking lot bully in many ways. He puts the needs of himself above others and gives little empathy to those he makes his victim. He possesses the skills to swerve his way in front of everyone and chooses to do so. As Ricky Bobby once said, “If you ain’t first, you’re last.” If you see a grey Ford Ranger with the “ugly topper” in your rear view mirror, you better just give up because you already lost.